Recently, Backstep Firefighter offered a post by a similar title. The blog posting offered two articles well written about going to funerals to pay respects. One was based on the fire service, the other was not. They both offer great insight as to why you should go to the funeral.
I had been thinking about writing a post similar and then I attended another funeral last week. I thought it was poorly attended and I just can’t wrap my head around it.
In addition, this is timely due to the recent LODD’s in Indiana and Illinois.
Here are my thoughts…
I have attended funerals for firefighters ever since I joined my department. There I was, a snotty nosed, young punk, know-it-all firefighter in a brand new department…going to funerals for guys who had retired before I joined the department. Some of them had retired before I was even born. I was there, without any prodding. It isn’t about me, it is about paying respects.
photo by Drew Abel
I am not sure now what made me go, but I went. I often assisted with the Honor Guard at the funerals. Some were attended by a couple of other firefighters, others well attended. Some had hundreds at their funeral, others had a couple dozen. I didn’t know the men and it didn’t matter. I was there to pay my respects… and to support the family at the very least.
We have lost some great men in my 12 years in my department… GREAT MEN! We have lost all kinds of men. Great firefighters, great husbands, great fathers, great sons, great brothers, great friends…some of them were taken too early.
I have never based my desicion on going to a funeral on who they were or who they weren’t. It isn’t about that.
Most recently, I attended the funeral of a Paramedic/Firefighter whom I knew and had the pleasure of working around. As always, our Honor Guard was there. They do a great job…I mean top notch. These guys know the meaning of precise. I would tell you who wasn’t there, but the list is too long….and I understand that not everyone can attend every funeral. Coverage of that funeral here , here and here.
I don’t keep score, I never have. It’s just too easy to realize that too many of my brother and sister firefighters were not there. The article on Backstep Firefighter points to BROTHERHOOD…I couldn’t agree more that this is what is lacking. Another great read is a recent article on Raising Ladders about The Lost Art of Firemanship.
But I hate throwing around the word BROTHERHOOD. If I throw it around too much I think it takes away from the meaning of BROTHERHOOD.
To me BROTHERHOOD is not something that can be taught, learned, or explained. It is too simple to understand and too complicated to explain. BROTHERHOOD must be experienced.
If you want to start to experience BROTHERHOOD…Go To the Funeral
They deserve it, their families deserve it, and you OWE it to them. That is right, I said you OWE it to them. Whether you liked them or not, they were your BROTHER or SISTER firefighter and you OWE it to them and their family.
Excellent post Rhett!
Thanks!
We just said goodby to one of our brothers today. This aricle hit home. Well said.
Thanks, I appreciate the comment!
Thanks, I appreciate the comment!
Good post, Rhett. I was not able to make it to Dave’s funeral, but I was able to pay my respects at the funeral home. I try to make at least one if at all possible. Some can attend more, and some less. But a large number do not attend at all. I do know that some are extremely uncomfortable at funerals. Although I do not know fully understand that feeling, I must respect that some find it difficult to attend funerals, and I do not fault them for it.
Dave was one of the nicest people I have ever worked with. It is a shame that many did not bother to attend the funeral of someone who was so dedicated to saving the lives of others.
I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of Brotherhood in the department. There are far too many who are only concerned with themselves and their careers. They talk brotherhood, but never attend meetings of the RFFA. They talk brotherhood, and then talk about their brothers behind their back. They talk brotherhood, then walk on the backs of their brothers to gain a promotion or score points with the administration.
Many blame administration for the poor morale in the department. There is some truth to that feeling, but some blame rests with the firefighters themselves. Firefighters don’t trust administration, but they can’t trust the people they work with everyday. I have never seen it worse in the department than it is right now. Everyone is looking to blame someone else, but most of the blame is in the hands on the person you see every time you look in the mirror. You want better morale? Respect those around you. Respect those who have retired, for they have done the job before you. Respect those for whom you work. Show respect to those who have passed, doing the same job that you are doing. Give them the honor and the dignity that you hope that others will show you when your time comes. That is Brotherhood.
Thanks for the comment Mike.
Thanks for the comment Mike.
As one who has 30 years under my belt in the fire service and who has seen way too many funerals, I couldn’t agree more. I have been from firefighter to assistant chief and back and seen many a wanna-be firefighter come through the doors of our station. You can almost instantly tell the ones who get it from those who don’t. We are a different breed from other folks, no better, no worse, just different. One thing that I have noticed in the past few years is the lack of respect given officers and older members of the fire service. In some cases it is appaling what some people believe is acceptable. I say, “If you don’t get IT, get OUT”. I have traveled many miles to attend funerals of firefighters that I have never met. They are my BROTHERS and SISTERS. I will attend as long as I am able and will continue to show my respect and share my experience with anyone who wants it. God bless all of our fallen.